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Back to the drawing board! Thursday November 29, 2007

Posted by gingerbreadman in Blessings.
14 comments
Normal.  My gall bladder ejection rate is normal.  Wow…first time a test has come up "normal" for me in many years!  Of course, that means they still don’t know what the heck is causing all the gastro-intestinal problems I have, but it does mean no surgery, too.  So, a blessing. 
 
I didn’t realize how much I was hoping it was my gb until I got the results back and I was really disappointed.  I hate hospitals, surgical rooms, I am a bad patient and recovery is always a PITA since I’m too stubborn to be quiet and rest as I’m instructed to do so I end up taking much longer to heal than I should.  Add Laura "My Mommy’s body is my personal playground" to the mix, and having my gb removed would have been a tremendous hassle.  So it really is a good thing that I didn’t have to go under the knife.
 
I think what I hate most is the uncertainty, the questions.  Not knowing why this continues to happen to me.  My Sis says I continue to plague the doctors as the Enigma Patient:  they’ve never been able to pinpoint why the migraines or to find a treatment that keeps them at bay, it took them 3 months to figure out I have GERD, and now I still have symptoms with no explanation.  I’m beginning to think my body is simply used to being sick, my stomach now has a weakness from all those months of urping and is just super-sensitive.  And if you can’t keep anything down but fluids and maybe one meal a day…guess what?  What goes in, comes out.
 
Gina asked me today how I got "used to it" after I told her I’m simply adjusted to it by now.  It’s simple:  what else can I do?  It’s either deal or sit in a corner crying about it constantly, staying in bed whining about how bad I feel, and nothing gets done that way.  I did that a couple months ago, and ended up in a Crisis Care Unit.  Not a good plan.
 
Then I think of people who have situations so much worse than mine to deal with daily.  Children in hospitals all over the world fighting cancers, going through treatments giving them worse symptoms than mine and facing deadly consequences if their little bodies can’t win the fight.  Soldiers wounded, with TBI, lost limbs who have a lot more to "get used to" than I do who are bravely facing their issues.  Every day people with HIV/AIDS, cancer, disabilities, debilitating illnesses, and I have to ask myself who the hell am I to whine over hurling a couple times a day and some icky trips to the john?
 
So, I’ve realized again how very much I have to be grateful for, how very little I appreciate the good health I do have, considering how it could be, and that what will be, will be for the rest of it.  I’ve lost friends to AIDS, and Marc last year to cancer complications.  This country has lost so many good, brave men and women to battles abroad.  I have six remarkably healthy children.  My sweet doofus Sistah sassy has a constant prayer and worry in her heart for her oldest son.  I’m done getting worked up over my intestinal issues.  Time to light some candles, concentrate on others, get that joy overflowing and spread the cheer.
 
So who has their tree up already?!