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Happy Holiday Season! Saturday December 22, 2007

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
I’ve always loved the song "The Little Drummer Boy".  Not really because of the Christian theme, as sweet as it is, but more for the important message in the song that all faiths and peoples can embrace:
"I played my best for Him…"
Isn’t that we’re all trying to do through the Holiday Season?  Isn’t it what we strive for as humans, interacting in all our relationships?  Giving the best of ourselves we have to everyone, in everything that we are and do.  The simple act of GIVING, it’s the ultimate meaning of Christmas.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the frenzy of buying, budgeting, wrapping, rearranging our days and nights to fit things and people in we forget what it’s all supposed to be about – Gifts of love.
I’m excited about this Christmas Season.  It’s the first year since my rupture that I really feel well and have managed to do the shopping, decorating, hustling and bustling by myself.  La’s that age now…the FUN year she’s discovered Santa Claus and all his magic.  We read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" every day now, and she’s SO excited about Christmas Eve at Nana and Popa’s.  we all are.
Here’s a fun version of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" I’ve always been fond of…I hope you enjoy it too.
 "Twas the Night before Christmas" has lots of nice rhymes
But I fear that the tale doesnt fit modern times.
What is a kerchief? My dad wears no cap.
He snores the whole night, no way its a nap.
They tell me that Santa is coming tonight.
Hell be flying in here on a sleigh. Yeah, RIGHT!
When I was much younger I believed all that stuff,
Now that Im older I know its a bluff.
As this Christmas eve is going so slow
I sneak down the stairs to watch HBO.
Nothing is stirring, its quiet down here.
Security’s on so there’s nothing to fear.
All of a sudden I hear the floor squeak
Someone is coming, sneakety, sneak.
And then as my heart leaps up to my throat
I see a fat man in a funny red coat.
He stands by the table and looks through the house
And takes from his pocket a tiny gray mouse.
He says, "Ho, Ho Ho, I truly believe,
There must be a mouse in each Christmas eve."
His belt buckle shakes as he laughs, look at that.
My gosh this jolly old guy sure is fat.
He looks up. He sees me and gives a big smile.
Says, "I came to see you. Lets talk for a while.
"Youre one grown up child that doesnt believe
That Santa Claus comes on each Christmas eve.
Youre a big girl. Your minds filled with doubt.
Its simple, without me the joy is left out.
"I remember the time you sat on my knee
A smile on your face, eyes sparkling with glee.
Dont you remember the thrill you felt then?
With a little belief you can feel it again.
"Santa Claus comes for each child at the start.
The rest of their lives I live in their heart.
If you are a youngster or wrinkled old guy
You still can hear sleigh bells ring cross the sky."
He turns as he says, "Will you please come out here?"
And there on the driveway stand eight cool reindeer.
They all nod to me and then snort in chorus,
"Whos this pretty girl now standing before us?"
I wave as I tell them, "Im Anna May."
As the big burley guy crawls into his sleigh.
He says, "Its my new team, a real with-it crew.
I’ll let Captain Cosmos give their names to you."
"Heres E-mail and Hat Rack, Cool Dude and Charley,
Im Cosmos, theres Awesome, Brucie and Narley.
Head Cat is Santa, the North Poles his home,
We see him all year cause we hang out in Nome."
Then they take off and fly to the roof
Tap a short rap and give a "high hoof."
All turn and shout, "Tonight reindeers rule.
The eight of us wish you a crazy cool Yule."
Then Santa shouts, "Its true some things change.
But believe in the basics." As he speeds out of range.
Then I hear repeated, as my willing ears strain,
The words I now love, my favorite refrain.
"Twas the Night before Christmas" has some things outdated
But The Story, dear folks, is not overrated.
Throw open the window, and rejoice in the sight!
"Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night."

The best gift I’ve ever given Tuesday December 11, 2007

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
I have an Aunt and Uncle who mean the world to me.   They’re fun, funny, loving, warm and affectionate people.  I call my Aunt Therese ‘Aunt Tickle’, because from way back to the beginnings of my childhood she always played Tickle Monster with me.  She’d call to me from across the house, telling me she needed to have a serious talk with me, and gullible child that I was, I always came running.  She’d get this mischevious look in her eyes, sit me on her lap, whisper in my ear that it was time she told me a few things and then lock her arms around me and TICKLE the living daylights out of me.  We’d end up rolling on the floor together, and I always felt her love for me shining through.
Uncle Chuck is an odd duck.  He loves books and puzzles, world events and conspiracy theories.  He’s also nuttier than a pecan pie.  I’ll never forget the year at Thanksgiving dinner Mom made the mistake of asking him to say Grace before we ate.  He started off fine, thanking God for our blessings, our family, etc.  Then he proceeded to thank the turkey for it’s sacrifice, talked to God about the farmers and workers who had grown the wheat for the meal, the cranberries that had been picked, the vegetables grown.  Something about the stock market, and then Aunt Tickle finally interrupted with a quick, loud, "Thank you, Heavenly Father, AMEN."  It was weird, trying to eat after that prayer.  Good old Uncle Chuck.  I love that man.
Everything good and loving is all I’ve associated with this Aunt and Uncle.  I have many, many since both my parents had lots of siblings, but none as close to me, even if they lived in Illlinois all my life and I only saw them once a year.
This year I wanted to do something special for them for Christmas.  Aunt Therese has never forgotten a birthday in all my years, always sent loving cards out of nowhere as a surprise, and given so lovingly all my life to me and the girls.
I wracked my brain trying to figure out what to do for them, and suddenly it occured to me – I knew just what to do.
Gina of GBees.com!  Of course!  A special, ordered gift basket to my specifications just for them!  I contacted Gina, who was absolutely thrilled to do something for someone she knew, for people so worthy. 
The beauty of Gina’s basket to Aunt Tickle and Uncle Chuck is that she worked with me completely on each piece that went into the basket.   She shopped for gifts I mentioned I thought they’d like, we worked on the candy and nuts and I even got to pick out the wrappers for the candy bars!  And I don’t mean CHOOSE which wrapper I wanted, I mean the design of the wrapper was changed to meet exactly what I wanted.  So my favorite Aunt and Uncle now have a sleigh basket full of goodies specifically hand-picked for them, complete with customized, personalized wrappers for their candy bars.  It is beautiful.


I couldn’t be any more happy with the gift I got for them.  Those roses are CANDY!!  Gina was a dream to work with, and I know it wasn’t because we were already friends, she gives this kind of wonderful service to every customer at http://GBees.com .  I told her how much I love what she came up with, and she’s as much concerned with how Aunt Tickle and Uncle Chuck love it as I am…and more interested in how they like it than she is about how much I love it.  THAT is customer service! 

I have no doubt my beloved Aunt and Uncle are going to be bowled over with their gift.  They know it is the thought that counts, and not only did I work to think of something special for them, but GINA worked her butt off to make it a special gift, beautifully done, not only to my specifications but her own.

Now I know where to go any and every time I have a special gift to give.  Something not only from MY heart, but Gina’s as well.  What more can you ask for in giving a gift to someone you love than to have someone work so hard to make it everything you as the customer will love but also the receiver will appreciate and be thrilled to get?

Gina can be reached at http://GBees.com for all your wrapping, gift basket, cards, labels, invitations and other goodies you could ever want.  Custom, quality work for a great price, made with care and consideration.

AND she didn’t want me to blog this until after she and I both knew if Aunt Therese and Uncle Chuck liked the basket or not.  Please.  I’m the customer, and I adore what she did.  I feel so good about this gift…I haven’t been so excited about giving someone a present in ages.

Thank you, Gina, so much, for all you and your husband did to make this gift special.  I hope your Christmas is as special as you’ve already made mine, allowing me to do this for two special people in my life.


Just Some Photos Thursday December 6, 2007

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
I thought I’d put a few photos up since I haven’t thrown a pic of La onto the blog in a while and some people may be tired of reading about her all the time and wondering what she looks like.  It’s easy:  she looks just like Daddy…only she’s beardless.  There’s a few of the girlies in there too, and some of Becca’s macros of the tree ornaments.
Oh, and for those tired of the same old Christmas songs, I’ve got one for you…but it’s a bit irreverent.
You Ain’t Gettin Sh*t for Christmas
For parents who have ungrateful kids 😉
_MG_2077Libby’s birthday and La’s reaction to us singing "Happy Birthday To You".  We’re not THAT bad!
_MG_2081Libby getting irritated because La’s snatching her candles and licking the icing off them before she can.
_MG_2100 La LIKES ice cream!   _MG_1903Yep, it’s me, in all my "ME?  Not ME!" glory.
_MG_1949Why do all my kids b-days come within a couple weeks of each other every few months??
_MG_2472   _MG_2480_MG_2487
_MG_25042Yes, that’s a sleeping La beside the tree.


Watta Weekend Monday September 17, 2007

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
Where to start?  With the new babysitter for me on my "bad" days…that will be coming at least once a week now…the woman who I used to like and now find a new reason to dislike and not want in my home and taking care of my child, me or my stuff every fifteen minutes?  I could whine about how humiliating it is to be forty and need someone to tend to me (because I’m a stupid, overly-independent, prideful woman instead of grateful I have a man who understands how difficult my "bad" days are and how much I do need someone to help with Laura and the house and the chance to just rest) for awhile and then admit I’m going to have to just suck this one up because it’s a done deal whether I like it or not–she’s coming.
Should I start with the crazy sleepover the twins had Saturday night, the party with the extra Katie, which seemed lots funnier than it actually was and had us all saying "Katie, No…not you Katie, the other Katie…" just for the giggle of it.   The fact that I never ever learn not to buy multiple bags of candy or lots of soda for these teenage hormone containers, or that apparently turning fourteen is as big as turning sixteen nowadays if it means you get to go out in public with your boyfriend once in awhile.   I wonder somedays if we’ve been old-fashioned in making the girls wait until they’re this age to talk to boys on the phone, to group-date….or if we’re doing the group-date thing too soon (now that Emily will be going with Jeremy to the Mall this Friday with us and walking off by themselves for an hour or so.)
There’s the fiasco-fun of the cook-out/Nana and Poppa coming over/actual Party lunch yesterday.  Mike had to go into work for awhile, I was up mopping floors at six, laundry at seven, breakfast none of the kids wanted at eight, making cake at nine.  Then there was the intermission in which I was treated to the fight with Laura over who was going to run the house today.  It took some convincing and some corporal punishment, but I prevailed in the end, cheeky little toddler.  Off to preparing hamburgers and realizing all the stuff I’d forgotten to buy at the store at ten.  Then I freaked, long about the time Libby came home from her sleepover and started following me around and talking non-stop, the other Katie left and Mike called and said he’d be late, I should start the grill.  Heh, heh, heh.  Katie, Becca and I did synchronized screaming.  Then I remembered I hadn’t had my "Must’nt Kill the Kids" medication yet, took those and waited for them to kick in.
Luckily Mike got home and showered before Mom and Dad showed up, Dad didn’t have a heart attack over Emmy his Pet’s new hair color (she’d vowed to dye it back if he wanted her too AWWWW) and the Grill Master only burned 3 of the burgers.
I miss burgers.  Hot dogs are okay, but grilled burgers?  The bomb-diggity.  Oh, and I miss Coca-Cola too.
Done whining now, I swear. 
It was a swell Happy Birthday Celebration, down to my Dad insisting I sing "Happy Birthday to You" solo because everytime we all tried to sing it, I followed the worst singer and went off-tune with them and he wanted to prove I could sing on-key.  I love that man.  Mom said I’d never been able to sing a round as a small child either, although I can manage easy ones now, and lordy knows I’ve drunk quite a few.
Happy Birthday Emily and Katie!!!!
Or I could discuss the one downer of the weekend, when Mike came home and announced his friend was going to give us one of his black lab puppies…and the girls went bananas with joy, until I said NO, emphatically.
Anyone who was around my Blog a year ago knows about Boomer, my only dog and how I feel about owning another dog at all.  And really, considering my health…considering the fact that Mike’s hired someone to come and take care of me and La because I’m too freaking weak to do it me own dang self, do I need a puppy to train and clean up after?  No, I do not.  So now I get to be the Bad Damn Guy and break the kids hearts.  I get to receive the Look from Mike, of all people.  They don’t care about my reasonable arguments against a dog.  They don’t listen to the list of Why Not’s.  They Want A Dog Now.  It is Time.  They are united against me in this.  I’d be in the Doghouse if I’d allow a dog.
What wakes me up in the wee hours of the morning, the only time the Man knows I’m too tired to kill him or send him back with his package?  A wee, sweet, trembling, black lab pup that he immediately takes and places in bed with Katie, the manipulative, evil monster…Katie adoring and dancing in her eyes, already thinking of names while I’m trying to fumble in my memory where I hid the cyanide the last time I had a tender moment towards Mike.  And then the four-legged thing comes somersaulting over to me, clumsy-puppy sweet.  I lift him up, determined not to hate the dog, just the messenger and look in little pup’s face-and dangit, he is cute.
Then I find out that Mike didn’t bother to buy the dog food, or a collar or lead, or anything….just brought the dog home.  Already I am having to take care of this dog immediately.  The anger flares back up, goes back down…that’s the way it works here, isn’t it?  *weak laugh*
I figured out his name…Jack…after Jack Black at first, then Jack White when we were awake this morning and discovered the tiny strip of white that runs down his chest.  He’s gone No. 2 for me 3 times outside  already this morning, he follows me around just like Laura…he’s My Dog.  And I like it.
I argue with myself that over a year ago the children were much less mature, we lived in a place not suited for a dog, we’ve got a GREAT yard, La’s much calmer with animals now.  Truth is, maybe I just wasn’t ready yet to open up enough to love a dog then.  I am now.  I like this pup, Jack already.  He’s a good dog.  Boomer would approve, I believe.

Still Alive! Wednesday August 22, 2007

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
I’m still breathing.  Nothing’s changed yet.  Still doing lots of tests, still no real answers.  They’ve got it pinpointed to a couple things…being treated right now for something called "lazy stomach" but the meds aren’t really working very well and just make me even more tired than I already am.
Sorry I don’t have any better news, I wanted to wait to write until I did, but Imp tells me I need to get my butt online more often, and I got to talk to Schmidt for a little bit today and she reminded me I better post and let you l know I haven’t died.
I’m sure lots remember Stacy the Forgotten Poet.  She called and has FINALLY had her surgery on her mass.  It is benign!  Hallelujah!  She’s going to be a while recovering as they also found a number of hernias they had to repair, bless her heart.  But, the important thing is she’s finally gotten rid of that horrid pain and she wasn’t cancerous.
As for me, thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and wishes.  I’ll let you know when I do.

Here For Now Sunday July 29, 2007

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
I see Spaces has been playing around with us again….I’m glad I was down and out while that was going on.  Looks okay, I hope it works okay too.
So, believe it or not, after all this time, they still have no real clue what’s wrong with me yet. They know I’m not pregnant, I don’t have another aneurysm or a pseudotumor, it’s not my gall bladder after all, or am ulcer, it’s not a tapeworm.  They know it’s not bulimia or acid reflux.  They just don’t know what it is.  So I’m still in and out of doctor’s offices and giving blood and samples none of you want to read about.  I’m still sick every day, exhausted and now that it’s been since the beginning of June since this upchucking and downspurting has gone on, I’m getting quite depressed.  I just don’t have the energy to do much of anything but deal with the kids the best I can and try to be a decent wife to Mike and manage to keep myself as well as possible.
I’m sorry I’m not keeping anyone updated.  I feel like a heel, not getting online more often, I know there are people who care and want to know what is going on with me.  But the kids are on the computer more often than white on rice and honestly, I just don’t have the energy right now.   Everything in my body hurts.  I’m concentrating on my family right now and getting better while we work to figure out why something as dumb as throwing up 3 or 4 times a day for two months is kicking my butt.  I don’t want anyone to worry, I’ve got great doctors who are doing everything they can think of and who are taking terrific care of me, and Mike and the kids are really pulling out all the stops.  I just feel really stupid constantly writing saying "More tests, another week….Nope…not that one…more tests, anoter three days, nope, not that either, trying this series of shots…that didn’t work, feeling worse…"
I miss you all.  I’ll be back, when I’m Lynn again.  I’ll hunt you all down and hug you til you forgive me for abandoning you.  Much love.  

Thinker Blogger Award…HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Thursday May 17, 2007

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
Holiest of Schmidt’s has decided to bestow upon me and 7 other worthy designees the Thinker Blogger Award.  At least the other six awardee’s deserved it, that’s all I have to say- now if it’d been the Ranter Award, or the Rambles Award, or the OCD or ADD award…now that I’d have been scrambling, knocking on the outhouse door begging for.  But the THINKER’S award????  ME?!  I think the people I’m nominating are much more Thinking types….they really make me think….too bad I can’t turn around and nominate Holy again….that woman’s blogs make me come back two and three times sometimes just to ruminate over before I can even offer a comment.
And I’m a thinker?  Oh!  Maybe that’s what she meant? 
Love you, D!
My nominees for the Thinker Award and Why:
MammaBear, Sis the Imp since she’s raising a two year old, an eight month old, home-schooling an eight year old, running a successful t-shirt design business Twisted Imp Designs from home and still manages to blog about issues that are important to her, families and the world.  She’s funny as heck, smart as a whip, and if you’ve ever has a whip against your flesh you know how much it smarts, folks, and she loves me.
Cas of Aging Hippies because he’s always got something clever, ironic and sarcastic to say. He’s a thinking woman’s man, and you can tell by his comments section-it’s all women.
Rob of NotSoRob since he’s political, wise, witty, keeps up on the gay news and all the comic book stuff.  He thinks and doesn’t talk unless he has something to say.
Teresa, Litespreader.  She meditates, dreams big, thinks in all ways in and out of the box, leaves her readers with thoughts from the Elders to ponder as she struggles to live and understand her life, just like the rest of us.  She is one of my dearest sister-friends.  She makes me think with my heart when she writes.
Rose, My Peaceful Sister by the Stream.  She is the embodiment of peace, kindness, love and hope for mankind.  She is a deep thinker.
I almost forgot to mention the awardees are supposed to bestow the Thinker’s Award on 5 new bloggers of their choice as well.  I think my almost forgetting comes from my dislike of tags, but this is an award-thing, not a tag-thing, huh?  =)
The Thinker’s Blogger Award
Is that a commode under him?!?

Spirit Fingers, People!!! Wednesday December 13, 2006

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
Click here:  We Wish You a Merry Christmas!
Not two weeks left til Christmas!!  YAY!!!  I’m terribly sorry my illness took me away from my appointed rounds of force-feeding the Spirit to you all if necessary, but I am BACK NOW, PEOPLE!!!
We got our tree up in shifts this year…it was really quite funny-we got a new tree this year, brought it in late on the 1st of December.  Surprise, surprise-our old stand didn’t fit it!  So off we went to the dang store 30 miles away to get a new stand.  Two hours, a shopping cart and nine bags of goodies later, we got home with the stand.  Of course, we were exhausted and didn’t want to put the tree up by this time…we meaning everyone but me, of course.  I was dancing in the stores, dancing in the car and doing a prancing skip around the house, fairly itching to get the tree up.  I begged, cajoled, whined, demanded and tickled my way into getting everyone else off their butts so we could get the tree UP!!!!
The poor, poor tree.  It is a beautiful thing…7.5 of Pine goodness and joy…Fa La La La La!!!  And heaven help us….Lala was right in the middle of it all!  We tried to get the tree lights all untangled and up…and she kept wanting to run across them with her bare feet, all the while shrieking madly, "I *LIKE* the lights, Mommy, I DO, I DO!!!"  So very grateful for her ‘stamp’ of approval, let me assure you. 
Now, Becca is the self-appointed Light-Draper-of-the-Tree.  She is, after all, the Artist in the home.  Unfortunately, like most artists, she’s also a bit tempermental and pissy *cough cough* when her work is questioned.  I am a huge fan of many, many strands of colored lights on the tree.  Becca, however, wants to make do with what is there.  What would have happened to the Sistine Chapel if Michelangelo had been happy with the first set of paints that were brought to him, I ask?  I doubt we’d have a full panel, let alone the gorgeousness I still think should be a Wonder of the World.  Basically, I wanted more lights.  She countered with snarls, sighs, redraping of the lights to try to succor my demands that "that branch group has none at all" until she finally broke and said she was NOT doing any more work on the "!#$*^% tree tonight", period. 
That meant another trip to the store and another day without the tree being decorated.
Day 2
We set out, our happy little group–well, Becca, Lala and I, for the store for more lights, garland and supplies for the house in a good mood on December 2nd.  I still wasn’t feeling great from my sinus infection and my tooth pull, but I was under the Spell of the Season and ready to SHOP for CHRISTMAS!!!!
More lights!  More lights!!   Oooooo, look at the pretty garland!!!!
"Here’s that fluffy crap you like"
"It’s gold, you know I don’t like gold…anything.  Not even pretty garland.  Look at those stockings!!!"
"We’re shopping for GARLAND, Mom…come on, garland first, please?  Here’s silver…lots of silver."
"It’s flattish.  What about….ooooooooohhhhh!!  Look at the PURPLE!!!"
"I KNEW you were going to want that….NO. No.  No.  Here’s the silver you wanted, it even has whitish tips!  How many do you want?  One should be enough."
"It’s a BIG tree, and we always ran out before.  I think we’d better get 3."
"It’s a HUGE tree!  I don’t want to come back and find out there’s no more garland because we ran out on the last dang go-round.  Oh, LOOK at the pretty red bows, Beck…."
"Oh my god…240 feet of garland.  OKAY.  If that’s what you want, Mom."
So we got the lights, got the garland….all 240 feet of it.  Four packages.  Anyone need any garland, because it turns out you only need one package of garland to wrap around a Christmas tree, even a BIG tree.  Heh.
We also got some shopping done, I got to play amongst the Christmas revelers, shake a Soldier’s hand as he rang the bell for the Salvation Army and put in my bills, not change.  I also stopped and thanked him for his service.  He seemed touched.  That makes me sad…that it is so uncommon to soldiers…or anyone to get a kindness, especially at this time of year.  I giggled in aisles, Becca and I had to "Marco!!!"   "POLO!!!" each other many times as we wandered the stores looking for gifts and bargains.  Laura couldn’t decide whether to be excited by all the goings-on and get down and run around in the store close to me and her beloved sister or pout and sulk in the cart because she was too tired to run.  She did let us know she wants a piano for Christmas very emphatically by playing with one for a moment while Becca looked at something else in the Music section and then spending the rest of the shopping experience yelling uproariously for a "PINANOOOOOO, MINEEEE, PLEASE!!! MINE PINANOWWWWW!!!"
So we get home and UP goes the extra set of lights and ON goes the garland, draped four times until it was to all our liking.  Alas.  We could not put on the decorations until Sunday, Dec. 3, as Jess was coming over to celebrate her 21st birthday *!!!!!!!!!* and we were going to all decorate the tree together then.  So sat my poor tree for another day…
Dec. 3rd
Finally, at last, the Day had Dawned!!!  The tree I’d been longing for since Thanksgiving Night was finally going to be mine!  Hallelujah!  Jess arrived before lunch and we of course had to eat immediately (anyone with college kids knows what I am talking about), and then catch up on all her latest news.  No one seemed interested in decorating the tree yet.  I was fairly screaming and dancing and crying in my hands with anticipation and need; but it was Jessica’s Birthday Celebration after all.  If she wanted to play cards first…okay.  So we played Phase-10, ate more, listened to Christmas music, ate more and then FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY!!!!!! they were ready to put me out of my misery and into bliss. 
Why they do this to me I just don’t understand.  I think it is just to watch me twitch.  Although, the nervous wreck of the day award went to Jessica eventually…at one point she asked all her little sisters to quiet down, "My lip is beginning to twitch all on it’s own, and that has never happened to me before."
Once the youngest child is steady enough to hold the Angel up and place her correctly and reverently on the treetop, that is who always places it there.  It’s still Libby’s job this year…Laura’s is taking ornaments off the tree and throwing them BACK on, trying to "hang them back up".  Fun.  Lots of fun.  When I’d finally gotten my tree done, the house cleaned up, the people all sent to their homes, beds and such…I collapsed.
For over a week, as we all know now.  I’m on orders to remember that while I have the Spirit of a Santa’s Hyperactive Party Elf, I do in fact have only the constitution of a human, Joyous Happy Spirit Fingers and Body or not.  So I wear my Christmas pajamas, wrap myself in garland strands, sing Holiday songs almost non-stop and cheer myself on at the least.
I hope everyone is getting more in the mood for the beauty and joy of the Holidays.  It’s such a glorious time, full of promise and goodwill, charity and love…if you only will open up and allow it to be so.

Love you, Marc…Tearing the Kria Sunday August 20, 2006

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
Marc from Voyeur Nation
died from his ailments.
I never thought I’d have to type that out.
While I ‘only’ knew him a bit less than a year here online, he was one of my first blogbuddies.  I’ve watched him battle two cancers and a couple surgeries with grace, good humor and an indomitable will.  He was always so very kind to me, with absolutely no reason to be at all.
I’m not family, and I’m not Jewish.  But tonight I sit Shivah, and there is a rip on the right side of my blouse in honor of my friend, Dr. Chukka.
Today it is grey and gloomy outside.  It should be.  The entire earth should be covered with rainclouds; soft, gentle raindrops falling…tears of mourning, because the world has lost a great man.  A good doctor.  A kind person.  A kind friend.  A loving brother.  An inspirational blogger who did much with not only his personal blog, but started the multi-author blog GayMenRule that gave a voice and unity to a segment of the gay community that some did not have before Marc opened GMR.  This blog  and its’ many faceted subject matter and wonderful authors from all walks of life keeps everyone informed of all the news  and gives everyone the opportunity to feel the love and acceptance needed in the gay community.
Marc understood that better than most.  He spent his life from an early age fighting on two fronts:  the battle for acceptance because of his gayness within a family who largely rejected him *except of course for Joshua and one of his wonderful sisters* and his many battles with cancer and the complications those treatments caused him.  Throughout all that pain, he managed to put himself through medical school, become a surgeon, write a book that will now be published posthumously, and find many friends offline and online who learned so much from him and his will to live, his positive attitude, his sense of humor and his love of life and giving.
He turned to family and close friends when he knew the end was coming and made his goodbyes.  He did it right.  I never expected any less of him.  He always did it right.
I was looking in my archives today, wanting to see his words again…his words to me…and I found something that is so perfectly Marc….so very Chukka…
…….you know I keep telling myself if I were to be reincarnated…..I hope God makes me gay again…..it is what I am…..it never was a choice…….and despite the hatred…..I love myself…..
I love you too, Chu.  In my really selfish moments, I hope you do come back…definitely gay…can’t see ya str8…for the world’s sake, I want you around again and again.  For *you* though….for all you’ve already been through, all the pain you’ve undergone….I hope you’ve been allowed to achieve Summerland, Heaven, Rest and don’t have to do this again anytime soon.  Kick back and relax awhile.  We’ll wait for you.

Time Out Friday August 4, 2006

Posted by gingerbreadman in Friends.
What a week.  No, what a month so far. 
Cas, my beloved friend and comrade, the Aging Hippie who has been my shoulder, support, Beautiful Friend Forever, and so many other things for so many months, shut down his blog this week after years on Spaces.
I hate August.  And Msn Spaces Changes.  Maybe not in that order.  We’ll see.
And I hate it when Friends I Love leave their blogs, for whatever reasons.  Don’t we all?   Lori, from Whispers of Darkness has gone MIA since May 20th, and all of her Friends are worried sick over what has happened to her.  Jock, from Dishonest Modesty has closed his blog again. 
I wonder how many people will get fed up and leave Spaces for Blogger or Spot or myspaces or some other blog thingy this time?  It doesn’t make much difference…it’s not that hard to change a link on the bloglist, except myspaces requires you to join and sign in to even comment on a space there, which is a huge pain.  But riding out those strange MSN changes…*sigh* 
Oh well.
Things are crazier here by the minute lately.  My headaches are increasing in pain and frequency.  There wasn’t any explainable reason for them at first, but I’m beginning to think it is plain old stress.  Too much is going on, I’m worrying and fretting and thinking too much, trying to do too much at once, not resting enough.
Jess, my sweet girl who was dumped so viciously a couple months ago, was dealt yet another blow just yesterday.  Seems the X decided to start seeing a girl who lives in Jess’ building..simply because she does live in the building…as soon as he found out from this girl who she was and where she lived.  Incredible.  All because Jess rejected him when he came around looking for a hookup a couple nights.  As if he didn’t know she had more respect for herself than that.  He’d better get some prayers in him and hope I don’t find him soon.
Trying to scrape together enough money or parts for a Mac for Becca, she’s gotten to where she just *needs* one now for her work at school, the kids need another computer for school too…it is just a strain anymore for any of us to get computer time…and it’s got to be done in a few weeks…school starts August 9th for Libby, Katie and Emily and Becca goes for her new semester again August 30th.  Oh, did I mention Landon took their only computer and now Jess has to get a new one?  *whimper*
And Laura.  My sweet little Lala is completely out of control now.  Two months of being catered to by her big sisters, and now she is *convinced* she is THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD.  We all better know it and behave as such.  So it has been a real fight lately to get her straightened around.  Especially since I have three daughters who pet her every time I have to try to discipline her at all.  It’s going to be loud around here the first week the girls go back to school as I reteach her she’s not the Boss in the house after all.  Poor Baby.
And the Changes.  I cannot comment on half my Blog List links still.  Cheryl!!!  I can’t comment on your Blog!  It’s driving me crazy!  Someone who does comment….how are you doing it?  Am I just getting it at a bad time or am I just stupid???   I’ve loved what you’ve written lately, Cheryl….and that finch!!!
Thotman…BRAVO on your entry about Israel.  Thank you for taking up the cause and defending the country and war they are fighting against terrorism and have been since it seems the birth of their country.  Israel has been accosted incessantly with terrorists who have attacked them and all they are doing is defending themselves and their people.  Hezzbollah, Syria and Iran are hideous for terrorists, using innocents to hide behind…now I’m just reblogging you.  Great thots, Thotman.  Wish I could have put them on your comments section but AGAIN…can’t comment on your space.
Susan, Rebecca, Natalie and Solaria….I TRIED!!!   Tani….I TRIED!!!!
When I DO get to comment, I’m so frustrated, I don’t even know what to say anymore.
I’m taking a blogging time out at least until school starts for the kids.  Then I’ll have the day to myself, more time to devote to Laura and time still to try to write and think at the same time too.
In the meantime, maybe I can get caught up on all the commenting I’d LIKE to get done.
Yeah,  I’m pmsing too.