I’m The Gingerbread Man

We’re moving this week finally.  Hallelujah.  Mike’s being a bit difficult, but I keep reminding myself it’s the last week, and he’s dealing with a lot too.  Sometimes that actually helps!  =)

Mostly the girls and I have tried to avoid him during the day.  We practice softball with Libby, play on the slip*n*slide with Laura, have lots of water gun fights and clean house, readying for the move.

Libby’s team is undefeated so far!  Woo Hoo! 

Emmy and Jeremy are coming up on their 1 year anniversary, and I’ve got to get rid of that boy soon. =/

Laura is growing like a weed and now eating me out of house and home.  Such a switch from before when she wouldn’t eat anything but pop*tarts and bread.

I’m thrilled.  The girls are happy and excited.  I’ve got amazing friends who are so generous and loving and sweet.  I’m moving to our independence, happiness and safety.

I’ve got limited time on the pc right now, I’ll be around to talk to all of you before the week is out and say "see you soon."

Oh yeah…GO OBAMA!!!!  Tuesday night was such a beautiful time.

My favorite passage so far is:  "I’m grateful for challenges, those hard things I never thought I’d make it through but somehow did."

So I’m counting my blessings.

Those wonderful kids of mine.
All the laughter, singing, dancing, card-playing and just being goofy the bunch of us have to look forward to every day.
The children’s health.
My parent’s good health, the health of my entire family.
That school will be out soon and I’ll get some help with La during the day!
My health.
Water slides.
My big dumb dog.
My wonderful, amazing, loving family of friends on Spaces.
Being open and strong and ready for what life has in store for me.

Yeah.  Love you guys, thank you so much.
Blessings!

Highway to Hell by AC/DC!   Ain’t that a fine way to start my trip?  I’m not usually superstitious, but that kinda got to me.  Then…
Life is Beautiful by Sixx AM comes on.  Okay, that is much better.  Much more upbeat!  Sort of.  Next comes…
Let the Good Times Roll by The Cars.  Cool!  That’s a good harbinger, isn’t it?   Yeah, well…
Call Your Name by Rex Goudie comes along.  What a complete downer!!!  Now I’m seriously worried about these tests.

And yes, it’s a long ride to the hospital.  I was almost there when finally a good message came on again…
Never Too Late by Three Days Grace.  Now, you can argue that it has a lot of talk of suicide in it, but considering my history…heh…and the fact that it’s a life-affirming song, I was glad to sit and listen to the end of the song before turning off the engine and schlumping into the hospital.

I won’t tell you about the pelvic ultrasound except to say that they had a condom covering the probe.  That struck me as absolutely hilarious, and I laughed so hysterically that I irked the tech trying to find my uterus.
I was amazed that I’m one of those lucky, blessed women who don’t feel pain during the mammogram.  Sorry about the rest of you.

Then I waited and waited and threw up and stressed an entire day waiting for the results of the ultrasound.  *Drum Roll*
I’ve got some fibroids, and a weird little mass but it’s nothing they’re worried about at this point, and I just have to go back for tests every six months.  Hallelujah!  Of COURSE there’s more medication for the symptoms…why not, I threw out the Topomax, must be time for another new bottle in the locked cupboard, huh?  I asked my doctor why I was constantly having to go through expensive tests only to find out it’s not a big enough deal to even justify the costs, and he got a little cranky with me.  I’m beginning to think as long as it’s a big, expensive test involving sending me off to a hospital, especially if radiation is involved somehow, I should just NOT worry about it…the tests will come back okay.   I have to say thank God for small towns now, if I’d have been tested somewhere else, who knows how long it would have taken to get the tests back and I’d have lost another 10 lbs instead of just 4. 

On the downer side, the business hasn’t had a call since the 18th.  Diesel prices are out of control, trucks aren’t sending out as much as they did, and they’re taking the breakdowns to shops if possible now rather than call out a mechanic.  So, Mike and I are both out looking for jobs now.  Wonder what a brain damaged crazy chick is suitable to do?  *sigh*

I took my time, recovered slowly, assigned chores and simply blew the ‘small stuff’ off and let myself heal.  Then I decided I was going to be WELL, not just not sick anymore, but *WELL*, dangit.

I’ve started making myself eat regularly, whether I’m hungry or not.  I’ve started going out every day, whether I need to or not:  to play, to run errands, to simply be in fresh air and out of the house and especially out of that bed. 

Most importantly, I’ve psyched myself into feeling better.  Even when I feel like crap, I make myself get up, get moving and get out.  And when I get tired:  I quit.

I don’t know when I’ve felt so good.  Things with the kids are great, things with Mike are great, I’m not even glaring at Russell as much lately.

Plus, our business is rocking.  *GRIN*

We’ve just installed new beds in the girl’s rooms, rearranging where they sleep and setting up the second computer system in Katie and Libby’s room.  THAT was some work.  It’s kinda disgusting how much *STUFF* girls accumulate and consider indispensible.  Trying to explain to Mike that the stuff was all important and needed was not pretty…he thinks a girl’s room should have a bed, dresser and maybe a desk.  I threatened to find some feminine hygiene products at him and that finally drove him out of the way at least.

Jessica has gotten herself engaged to Landon.  I’m trying to be open-minded and accepting, I really am.  It’s hard, forgiving him for everything he’s put her through off and on the past two years, but she’s determined he’s changed and ready, he’s spent a lot of time trying to convince me of his newfound maturity and appreciation for my daughter, and I never thought he was not intelligent…maybe he finally DID smarten up and figure out he’d never find anyone as wonderful as Jess.

He’d better have.  Third time is the Death Sentence.

Okay…I’m going to bounce around and try to catch up on everyone before I have to concentrate on dinner…or at least say "HI!"

So the scopes are over, and everything is good.  No polyps, inflammations, bad looking things or anything.  The esophageal ulcer is even gone.  Yippee skippee.

I’m tired, wrung out and still a little wonky.  I’m going to bed now.  Thanks for your thoughts, friends.   Talk to you when I come off the sedatives.